Gender Equality South Africa Project #38463

Empowering Girls and Women as Mothers

by Keep The Dream196

Project Report | Mar 8, 2024
Generational hurt being healed, because of you!

By Louise and the Dream Team | Director

Today I was talking to Zabe, KTD196 co-founder and program manager, and we were chatting about individuals we had seen wonderful changes in. So I thought I would share Julia’s story with you. It’s a bit long, those who have been with us for a while have met her previously over the years.

Julia came to this country from Mozambique with her husband and 2kids over 20yrs ago. 10yrs ago her husband died of AIDS and she found out she and her second youngest daughter also had HIV at the age of 2. Fortunately for Julia she responded positively to the Anti Retro virals. Sadly, her second youngest daughter Lulama did not.

Lulama was a part of scouts, we were able to supply extra nutrients and food parcels to try and build her immune system, but it was too late. Lulama was diagnosed with extra pulmonary tuberculosis, she had it in her lymph glands throughout her body. Lulama passed away when she was 12yrs but she only looked like she yrs old.

Lulama was desperately loved by Julia, to the exclusion of her youngest child, she didn’t care what happened to Jane, she would not care for her, feed her properly, buy clothing for her, Jane wore all of her dead sister’s clothes. Personally, I suspect it was fear of loving another child to depth that she loved Lulama and then losing her. Julia could not love this child. Just imagine, that you are so scared to love your child that you actually reject her. Her heart could not bear another loss, so Jane was neglected.

Through our work with SHG, Julia became a part of the SHG group to address the very real poverty affecting her and her family. Jane came to cubs and scouts, and learnt about children’s rights and responsibilities and chose to love her mum regardless. Zabe was saying Jane was so desperate to have a mum, that she would call Zabe mum because her own mother didn’t ever respond, Julia was so broken and this in turn threatened to break Jane.

Through cubs and scout Jane grew to realise that parents are also not perfect and that she was determined to win her mother’s love. She would live according to the scout law, she would honour her parent, and love her mother regardless, she found acceptance within the children’s program, her confidence and sense of self grew regardless.

Late last year Julia attended our Journey of Life training where she learnt about how the past can affect our present and she realised how she was treating Jane was so wrong on so many levels. Overnight she started buying clothes for Jane, she started talking to Jane, she was starting to pay attention to Jane. However, the love was slow in coming, this was a process but also Jane needed to be open to the change.

Last week Jane started menstruating but the relationship was so damaged, Jane told her neighbours not her mother about this because she was just too unsure. This devastated Julia, she didn’t blame Jane but it made her stop and think about how her past action had damaged the relationship and she now wants to build her mother-daughter relationship that is open to all discussions and express her love towards her daughter.

This change came about through KTD196 involvement in the family, we were determined to bring them both closer and by implementing training in the SHG groups regarding communication with children, listening skills with children, how to show (demonstratively which is not cultural) that you love your child, the doors were opening. Not just for Julia and Jane but for all the parents to improve their relationships with their children.

Through the children’s program we have been able to build up Jane so that she realises it not her that is being rejected but that her mum has problems and needs heart healing. It’s a tough call, but we are seeing the changes every week as we watch Julia and Jan interact and find each other after 12yrs of hurt. Both are doing very well.

These sorts of changes we see every day. It is changes that large Institutional donors are not interested in but I want you to understand, your support has gone towards restoring this relationship, through supporting the children’s program and SHG program, we are bringing deep healing to families. Statistically, with this sort of upbringing Julia was at risk of teenage pregnancy, dropping out of school, drugs us, HIV, criminal activities in order to survive. But because of you, that is just not going to happen.

I hope you feel good about the support you are giving; it is life changing.

God bless you

Louise

ps I do have permission to share this story, Julia and Lulama were both very open about their HIV status and about the struggles in the family, in case you were wondering.

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Mar 6, 2024
AMANDLA!!!! Water for ALL after 20yrs of waiting!

By Louise and the Dream Team | Director

Water, essential for all!

Imagine, for 20yrs you have had to buy water from a truck that passes through the village once a week. You have to have enough 20L containers (that way you can carry them either on a wheel barrow, on your head or in both hands), for the whole week. Now, add a family of 3 kids and a partner.

You need to do all the washing, cooking, cleaning, drinking from these water containers………….for 20years! You are with the rest of a village of over 5,000 people, all waiting in different corners of the village for the precious water truck to come through. You spend hours waiting, you try and get there early so that you can be ahead of the que, so that you will get water, before the truck has to head back to the depot be refilled. In the morning it is cold, I am talking about 0500, when it is very cold, and dark, and scary.

As the day wears on it becomes hot, and humid, standing in the sun. Yesterday it was 39C (102 Fahrenheit), still you are waiting for the truck. Then you have to start the journey back home, sometimes a couple of kilometres uphill with 20L of water on your head, in a wheelbarrow, or just carrying. Up to 5 x 20L containers. For a week, if you don’t have babies or a sick adult that needs linen changed daily.

Add to that you want a vegetable garden because you need to supplement your budget, as the money for food just evaporates as you have to spend money to buy water. Grey water is helpful but seedlings need clean water to grow and establish. Do you share your precious resource?

What about those in the communities that are too sick, frail or incapacitated to get their own water?

I am sharing all of this because the Cluster Level Association through the Self Help Groups have been able to get 6 dysfunctional boreholes repaired in 6months, what has been outstanding for over 20yrs. That is the power of this project. They are changing their communities and showing other communities what can be achieved through working together and demanding their rights in a co-operative manner rather than destroying infrastructure and causing chaos. Please watch the video below to see the awesome flow of water!

“AMANDLA! AWETHU!” These words were a popular rallying cry in the days of resistance against apartheid used by the ANC (African National Congress). In Xhosa and Zulu, it means “Power” and “Its Ours”. The women are showing how transformation will come from the grass roots and bring lasting change!

I love it, this is why I do this work. It is easy to come in and DO for people, it is much harder to train, show, encourage and watch others achieve. It takes longer, it is far more difficult, but it is far more lasting. This is why we do what we do with the children as well, lasting change.

Thank you for being a part of the CHANGE!

We thank God for you! Seriously!

God Bless you

Louise

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Feb 28, 2024
Changing lives, one child at a time!

By Louise and the Dream Team | Director

Tsolofelo shining brightly!

This week I want to share about the new groups we are opening. During the beginning of February, we held a training for 23 new leaders in our project. We spent 3 long days inducting them into the Children’s Project, not just the practical skills they need but also the policy information required ie Child Protection Policy, Code of Conduct for Adult Volunteers, and the Safe from Harm Policy. We need to inform all new volunteers what is appropriate and what is not acceptable in terms of behaviour with the children.

Already we have our first Meerkat Den (children aged between 5-7yrs); we have 2 more Cub Packs (children aged between 7-11yrs) and 2 more Scout Troops (11-18yrs)! The numbers have now increased by 150 children with four trainees alone. It is the end of the month and so we have not received all our reports as yet but I am so excited I just wanted to share the good news about the impact of the training.

AND, You subsidized this training. Where possible we ask for donations for food, transport, venue and from participants attending but that is not always possible so what ever short fall, your support sponsors that. You enable us to reach more kids.

We had 19members from the SHG groups also participate and are starting up new groups or bolstering old groups. By supporting the SHG groups, we are transforming not just the family’s livelihoods but also the future through the children’s program. The synergy is just wonderful.

Below is a story from one of our girls, just so you can hear from them directly as to the impact of your support.

Thank you so much

Blessings

Louise

My name is Tsholofelo, I was born and raised in Johannesburg in Protea Glen Ext 3. When I was 11, I moved to Limpopo (Myakayaka).

I used to see other kids passing by my street on Fridays around 2pm, and I would ask myself where they are going after seeing them wearing khaki shirts. One day, I saw Dzunisani passing by and I asked her where they are going and what is it that they do there actually. She then explained to me about scouts.

Scouts was a place to make friends and being new to Myakayaka I needed to make good friends. Scouts was also a place to learn new things, meet new people, grow as a person and to help people in the community. Also they went camping, I had never been camping and was excited about that. They also learnt first aid, gardening, leadership skills, all new to me.

I was interested in all this and I told them to wait for me next week.

Before joining scouts, I was a stubborn, greedy, and selfish little girl. I didn't consider other people's feelings before doing something. I was always in denial.

But at scouts, they taught us to be kind to others and be useful and help others all the time. That's when I realized that sharing is caring. I find scouts interesting because you get the chance to explore, learn many things, and at the end of the day, you have a lot of knowledge. You meet new people and you get time to learn how to socialize, and this can make your circle big.

You get to meditate and know yourself and what you're good at somehow. I am now thrifty and kind. The ten laws of scouting can be viewed as orders from the leader, and we must be ready to implement them at all times. When we make a promise, we must fulfil it. We must also work to form friendships in order to maintain the fourth scout law.

So in scouting, the scout not only gets his/her daily orders, but he also gets his standing orders, such as keeping the scout promise and complying with the ten scout laws.

I want to be a teacher when I leave school and make my family, community, and my scout members proud of me.

KTD196 scouts program has helped a lot of people. I am grateful to be one of them, thank you for supporting KTD196 and us. We won’t let you down.

Thank you.

Tsholofelo

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