Empowering Girls and Women as Mothers

Last week I reported on Gender-Based Violence, with so many children being exposed to violence in the home is it any wonder that violence is all they know? The Children's Rights Situational Analysis KTD196 has been engaged with these last 6 months and has seen the children report issues of violence experienced in the home, at school, and in the communities as a common everyday lived experience for them.

The question of Gender Based Violence continues to raise itself. In 2012, a study found that 77% of women in Limpopo, had experienced some form of Gender-Based Violence, the highest recorded nationally. Many studies have shown that violence is a learned behavior for both men and women. Sadly, more recent studies have not been completed due to covid however, during covid the reports of GBV escalated phenomenally. Can you imagine what it was like for families to be trapped inside their homes with a loved one who had to abruptly stop using alcohol or drugs and go through cold turkey withdrawal for the 4months of severe lockdown we experienced?

The generally accepted causes of GBV include Alcohol abuse, Childhood violence, and Lack of economic independence, however, in my humble opinion, this list needs to include a previous personal experience with watching family members tear each other apart in front of the children.

The CRSA reported on issues of abuse within the home, abuse by teachers at school, and abuse within the communities by adults and children. This abuse would come in many forms from being beaten by adults, verbal abuse, bullying, kicked out of the house, to having food withheld. What was evident in the CRSA was the need for the children to be cared for, supported, encouraged, and loved. Most of the children revealed non of this happened in their homes.

The impact of this abuse was identified by the kids as being a lack of self-esteem, feeling unloved and unworthy, and feeling like they were not seen, not important, or not valuable at any level within their sphere of influence (the home, school, and community). In the children's minds that is why so many fall pregnant, fall into gangs, and struggle with peer pressure because they want to belong and feel loved. This is why KTD196 is so important. We fill the gaps in their need for belonging, acceptance, and love until we work with the parents on understanding what their kids needs. We fill the gaps by changing adult attitudes and values towards children. The kids feel safe with us, especially safe enough to dream. They have a place and a space where they belong, and are encouraged and loved.

Below is a brief story from Itumeleng, what she doesn't share is how beaten down she was, how scared she was, and how intimidated and afraid she was to dream. Having hope in a seemingly hopeless world can destroy you! The hope of something different, the hope of a future, the hope of not repeating the failings of the past. Having hope against all odds is very brave in this place.

Through your support, we are doing just that! Bringing hope to children that see their potential in their parents, that of continuing the mindless repetition of violence and pain. Together we are breaking that cycle. Thank you so much for enabling our kids to DREAM and to have hope!

Blessings

Louise

Hi Avuxeni,

my name is Itumeleng, I am 20 years old from Limpopo in Tzaneen.  I joined the scout program when I was 11 years old in 2012. Before joining the scout program, I was a shy person who lacked self-confidence and did not care about the well-being of other people and the community. I was on the road to being a bully, at home and at school.

After joining the scout program, I started to gain self-confidence which helped me to stay true to myself. It reminded me of who I am and what I want in life. The scout's program has helped in enhancing my leadership skills and it gave me a new perspective on how I see other people.

When I first started talking about my dream when I joined scouts, I was encouraged, and I was not laughed at. All I've wanted to be is a farmer, my family was not supportive. My scout family was supportive and through their support, I held on to my dreams. 

I’m studying Bachelor of Science in Agriculture at the University of Limpopo, I am in my second year. Life used to terrify me, I was scared about leaving home and going away to study, new places, people, and surroundings. Scouts gave me the courage to go to University and reach for my dreams. I dont have to worry about peer pressure because KTD196 has trained me well, to stand up for my beliefs. I will succeed.

Your support is helping so many of us. Thank you Halaalaa KTD196 you are saving us.

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