Let NEW MASCULINTIES shine!

With the increase of teenage pregnancy in our small community, our battle for reproductive justice seems even more timely.   Two years of social distancing and school closings have taken their toll. Some of our bright and lively girls and boys that were committed to their education and growth are now trapped in precocious parenting.  The situation is unfair to the infant as well as to their parents.  We are painstakingly working to change the course of early pregnancy statistics; therefore, we are implementing a vacation program for teenagers that includes various activities such as: snorkeling, surfing, scuba diving, hikes, electricity workshops, gardening, creative writing and critical reading.  We sustain the possibilities to travel abroad after finishing school and the constant role modeling of international volunteers. 

Every Friday we have game day at the Library. Today, I have asked some of the boys to answer a few questions so that I may include their voices in this conversation with you. One at a time they sit at the far end of the garden, where we’ve set a couple of chairs under the mango tree.  I have blurred their individuality so you’ll hear a chorus of three  teenage voices expressing their stakes at future manhood. 

Em (17) was a skinny little boy when we first met, and now he stands tall and sturdy.  His wide smile is still there, but his look is sometimes grave and sad.  Daniel (14)  is a  lively kid. His perky demeanor and easy laughter never give away the ordeal he goes through at home. Tony (16)  is composed and neat. He is very respectful towards his elders, and can often be seen with dark circles under his eyes and a long gaze towards nowhere.  I’ve seen them grow and sometimes I wish we had superpowers to protect them from the adults in their lives, but we don’t. So, with your kind support, we open this Library every day to keep them active and interested in their future possibilities. 

I ask Tony (16)  to join me in the garden and talk a bit about what’s going on with him.

• Hola Tony, you know that after all these years you’ve been coming to the Library, we have never met your family.  That’s fine with us, but I’m just curious. Tell me something about them.

• We’re 5 siblings, 4 brothers, and one sister. There’s not much to tell, my father is 50 something, he works in construction or fishing, whatever comes along.  He’s always grumpy, says very few words, my 3 brothers are pretty much the same. The older is 30, then the second is 26 and then there’s Pedro 20 and then there's me. Only Pedro and I live at home with mom and dad. 

-What’s your mom like?

-She’s a great cook, always around the house, and doesn't go out much. She 's nice. My sister is married. She is 28 and has three children, the first one is 11. 

• So do you take after your dad or your brothers?

• Yes, they tell me we all look alike.

• And how about the personality, what are your brothers like?

• Ummm, they are loud and  bossy, they sound angry all the time when they're home.  But when I see them with their friends I can tell they must be funny, because everyone wants to hang out with them. 

• So you´re not like them, you´re not bossy..

• Yeah, they´re bossy with the weaker ones. 

-Are you worried about the teenage pregnancy rates around here?

• Yeah, a bit.  Because the girls around here want a husband very early and then they want a baby.  And it´s very hard on us, because we guys don't know how to do anything, so it´s not easy to get a job. 

• What is the dating scene like around here?

• It's a bit crazy, the girl's family wants to marry them with the first boy she´s been with. 

• How does that make you feel?

• Like it’s a trap… if you like her… you shouldn’t get too close.

• What do you like best about Don Juan?

• I like the beach, the Library. 

• What about friends?

• Well, kids around here are a bit boring, they want to stay indoors playing on their phones. 

• Tell me about school.

• There's guys who pester the girls, they try to overstep, some girls won't have it; and others go along with it.  

• What do you mean by “overstep”?

• They touch a girl, grab her…

• And the teachers? The adults don't say anything?

• No, they don't notice it, or they pretend not to notice.

• What do you think about this?  How does this make you feel?

• Ahh…… I don´t know… 

• What do you like about the Library?

• I like it when I have to read something and think about it and write about what I figured out.  I like when we go out surfing, or snorkeling or hiking.  I like the clubs.

• What volunteers do you still remember:

• I remember Derek, Lupita, Tadeo… and then of course, Gregorio.

• Do you think school, library and family are helping you grow up?

• Ummm,  I don't know how to explain this…

• Growing up means a period of transformations that will have consequences on your adult life, so we all need help to grow up.  Sometimes it's just having someone reliable around.  So, would you say that your family, your school and your library are helping you grow up?

• I´d say they all help me in the same way

• How so?

• Guiding me, making me feel loved. 

• If you had to choose the importance of these ?

• First is my family, second the library and then school. 

• Thanks, Tony, I appreciate your time.

• Chau! 

Daniel (14) has been coming since he was 6.  We´ve seen him struggle with the violent atmosphere at home.

Hola Daniel, can you tell me what your family is like? 

• There´s my grandparents, who are nice, and then my baby sister and my little brother, and then, my father and mother. 

•  Do you see yourself as a child or as a teenager?

• I don´t know,  sometimes I feel small and wish I was big.  

• Do you mean taller?

• Yes, but no. I would like to command myself… protect my mom.  

• Is there any place where you can command yourself, make your own decisions?

• Here in the Library, only here. 

• I can totally relate to what you're going through.  I think it's important to secure and keep places where your decisions are respected, this helps you grow up. 

• Yeah, that's why I keep coming.

• What's your favorite activity in the Library?

• The trip we went to Quito. That was really cool, especially the Yaku museum.  

• What would you like to do, not only for money, but because you like it?

• I´d like to work in a restaurant as a cook.

• Let's talk about girls, is it easy to have a girlfriend in Don Juan?

• No way!  it's not easy at all

• How so?

• Most of the girls are out of control, they have boyfriends, but their mothers don't know it, until they get pregnant. 

• Are you worried about pregnancy?

• Yeah!  I am very worried.

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My friend Em, (17) dropped out of school when he was 9 and now is going back to night school. 

-Hey Em, what are you up to these days?

-I'm adding my points to go surfing this week, and I need to add 30 points in April,    cause, I want to go scuba diving. 

-You're doing great, sure you´ll get there.  Do you mind if I ask you a few questions about your family?

-Go ahead

-Who do you live with?

-My father, my mother and my sister Maribel (19)  lost her eyesight during the earthquake and if wasn't for this library, she would never leave the house. 

-Yep, tell me about school and why you decided not to go anymore. 

-They didn't teach anything, they played cards all day and when a kid didn't know something they would hit him with a wooden ruler on the knuckles.

-That's not good, did you ever get hit?

-Yes!  All the time! But with time, I got used to it and didn't even mind.

-Did you tell your parents about it?

-No, they would have agreed with the teacher, so I didn't say anything. 

-Was that why you left school?

-Not really, it was really boring, I didn't learn anything.  I learned to read and write here, in the Library.  I left the school because I had to help my father. 

-What do you do with your father?

-When there are tourists on the beach we take water for them to take a shower, they give us tips. 

-So, you could say that you are helping to support your family.

-Yes, and no, I have to go find fish when there's nothing to eat and then help my father when there´s tourists, that's all.  We receive a bonus for my sister’s disability and we get by. 

-So, in terms of the future, what sort of guy would you like to be when you are grown up? 

-I think I would like to be like the volunteers that come here, like Gregorio, or like the medical doctor.  I’d like to volunteer here!  Help the little ones who think they’ll never learn to read.  Or help old people.  I like it here. 

- We're so happy when we see you here. 

Your generous donations to the “Let New Masculinities Shine!” project affords prosperous opportunities for young men like Em, Daniel and Tony. Through FAMM, these young men are exposed to literacy, activities and resources that promote their social-economic development via the deconstruction of embedded patriarchal institutions. In this way, we will build a safer, more equitable and sustainable community for all. We thank you for believing in this project and for bringing renewed hope to our youth.

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