Widowhood in Nepal

Family of the month: February, 2023

WIDOW:             (Name hidden for privacy) Aged 29

DAUGHTERS:  Raima (Name Changed), 5 years old daughter

                          Sirma (Name Changed) 6 month old daughter

Narrative:
(Name hidden for privacy) was born to a poor family in the remote village of Parbat district.

Her parents, both illiterate and day laborers owned a tiny plot of land with a small traditional cottage and a cowshed. They worked on other people’s farms and with their earnings this family of six, the parents and four daughters could barely survive. Life was harsh and there was always food scarcity and lack of the most basic requirements for a decent life. For (Name hidden for privacy), life was always rough and tough.

At the age of 15 she had to leave the school and take care of the household-chores while mother was laboring. For the coming seven years her life was hard work. Going to the distant well to fetch drinking water, collecting firewood in the forests to make tea and cook the rice, washing clothes, cleaning and collecting fodder for the cow. She worked hard from day to night, day in, day out with hardly any break or fun with her peers.

During menstruation she had to sleep in the cowshed and on the floor and during this time she was not allowed to enter the house or come in touch with anyone or any kitchen tools. This practice is called “Chhapaudi”, it is an ancient Hindu commandment, based on the belief that during their periods women are defiled and must therefore stay in isolation! In today’s urban Nepal this has been widely abolished and this due to education, awareness-programs and the general empowerment of the female gender. But sadly, in rural Nepal until this day this is still common and a terrible humiliation and health hazard for adolescent girls and women.

Aged 22, (Name hidden for privacy) met (her-to-be-husband) who was waiting for her by the well and helped her to carry the heavy water jar and whenever possible he would join her to collect firewood.

Thus, a romance was born and they promised to love one another for the whole life, as young lovers do all over the world. Since her parents didn’t agree, (Name hidden for privacy) decided to elope and marry (her-to-be-husband) without their consent.

She moved into her husband’s paternal house but her in-laws too treated her harshly and with hostility. (Name hidden for privacy)’s parents didn’t provide a dowry when she got married and this was reason enough for them to treat her like a slave.

After a few months when the situation became unbearable (Name hidden for privacy) and her husband decided to leave and go to Pokhara in search for a better life.

The first few months were very difficult because they didn’t find any work. They were sleeping rough and survived by searching for food in the garbage bins of the restaurants. But eventually her husband found a job as a construction worker and due to the construction-boom in Pokhara, wages increased and he made a good living. They lived in a small breezeblock building with a tin roof in one of the slums that are surrounding the city, like tens of thousands of their peers, the poorest in Nepal.

In the year 2017 (Name hidden for privacy) gave birth to a healthy baby-girl named Raima (Name Changed). Her husband was a hard worker and caring father and husband, he wouldn’t drink with his colleagues or gamble and all the hard-earned money served for the wellbeing of his family. Life improved considerably and they were a happy family fostering dreams for a prosperous future.

(Name hidden for privacy) was eight months pregnant when colleagues came to inform her that her husband died from an electric shock at his workplace.

Grief struck, she collapsed and was carried to hospital where the doctors made cesarean-surgery to save the baby. (Name hidden for privacy) recovered and the baby, albeit weak and fragile survived and they were able to return to their habitat in the slum.

It is here that our Nurse who was on a regular visit to the slums became aware of her and the pitiful situation of (Name hidden for privacy) and her daughters.

Due to the emergency of this case “BEF” acted promptly, and we took this family under our wings with immediate effect.

We are making sure that all their basic needs are met and that they are receiving adequate medical care and counseling and we will guide them on each step to a safe and better life.

We, as “CONNECTORS” are connecting (Name hidden for privacy) and her daughters with “LIFE” again, we are connecting them with you, our donor-community and all of us will agree that no one is more deserving of our help then (Name hidden for privacy) and her daughters and we will do everything in our means for them to live a life in safety and dignity.

Without all of you who increased your efforts to make it possible for us to admit more such families this would not have been possible.

Thank you from the bottom of many hearts!

Its simple, its simply BEF!

Sincerely yours

Surendra, Raymond and TEAM

“ The Bahini-EduCare-Foundation”