By Surendra Pariyar | Co-founder & Exectuive Director
Family of the month: March, 2023
New Mother (Name replaced for privacy) Family (admitted in March 2023)
Widow: New Mother (Name replaced for privacy), Aged 47
Daughter: Ramita (Name replaced for privacy) Nepali, 13 years old daughter
New Mother’s (Name replaced for privacy) parents were poor farmers owning a small cottage and a small plot of land in a remote village on the foothills of the Himalayas. For her illiterate parents, just as for her ancestors, life was merely about survival and procreation. Point! They had nine children, five sons and four daughters. Food was always scarce and for them, two square meals a day was exceptional and accordingly all of them suffered from malnutrition.
As the culture has it, the boys joined government school and the girls had to work from early age and remained illiterate.
The girls’ tasks are clearly defined in these backward communities and they consist in taking care of the household chores, caring for their smaller siblings and the livestock. One day while fetching firewood, nettles and roots in the forest New Mother’s (Name replaced for privacy) ten year old sister was bitten by a snake and she died the same day with any hospital or medical help out of reach.
This too is still a shocking reality in today’s Nepal. For women and girls foraging, barefoot and without protection is fraught with danger and snake bites, injuries and rape are not uncommon.
When New Mother (Name replaced for privacy) had reached the age of 15, a young man from the neighboring village proposed to marry her. She willingly accepted, and this in the hope to escape the utter poverty, the hardship and the hunger she had to face during her whole childhood.
The first year of their marriage was good, according to New Mother’s (Name replaced for privacy) Ram (Name replaced for privacy) worked hard and he was a caring husband. For the first time in her life someone was caring for her, her needs were met and for the first time in her life she experienced how it feels to go to sleep with a full stomach.
Two years later New Mother (Name replaced for privacy) gave birth to a healthy baby-girl. Her husband who wanted a son was not happy about this and gradually his habit was changing. He started to drink and became abusive and violent.
For New Mother (Name replaced for privacy) the brief honeymoon period was over and again she found herself thrown back into the dark side of life.
Two years later she gave birth to a son, but by this time Ram (Name replaced for privacy)’s character and behavior had changed, he was an alcoholic and worked only occasionally and became increasingly violent and abusive.
Selfless, New Mother (Name replaced for privacy) worked hard to have ends meet and put food on the table for her children and her husband; this she thought is what life is meant to be for me.
Ten years on she gave birth to another daughter named Ramita (Name replaced for privacy) and by this time her husband’s health had deteriorated due to alcoholism. He had liver cirrhosis and over the years the family got increasingly indebted to pay for the hospital and the medical bills. Eventually, their home, a small cottage and the only thing they owned had to be sold and this under the pressure from the people who had provided them loans.
When Ram (Name replaced for privacy) died from his disease, there was nothing left for this family but a shattered life and hopelessness!
The older daughter decided to get married and her son went abroad for work which left New Mother (Name replaced for privacy) and her 13 year old daughter alone, desperate and without anyone or anywhere to turn to.
In her search for help, New Mother (Name replaced for privacy) came to know about our organization and she came to our office and filed an application. After assessment of her situation it was decided to admit New Mother (Name replaced for privacy) 47, and her daughter Ramita (Name replaced for privacy) 13, as a new “EduCare-Family”.
For New Mother’s (Name replaced for privacy) who lived a miserable life, this is the first time in her life that she is cared for, that someone is helping her and providing her something for free.
She still can’t believe that this is true but for her and little Ramita (Name replaced for privacy), a long ordeal has come to an end.
Its simple, its simply BEF!
Sincerely yours,
Surendra, Raymond and TEAM
“The “Bahini EduCare Foundation”
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