Empower Feed Educate Single mother headed families

Family of the Month: August 2024

A New Dawn for a single mother led Family: A Journey from Darkness to Light

Beneficiaries:

• Single mother (For Privacy Purposes): 31 year old mother
• Daughter 1: 8 year old daughter (Studying in Class 4)
• Daughter 2: 6 year old daughter (Studying in Class 1)

The dowry system In Nepal:
Even though the dowry system has been illegal since many decades, it continues to thrive In Nepal. Dowry is a payment of cash or gifts from the bride’s family to the bridegroom’s family upon marriage. The dowry system incorporates payments in the form of money, livestock such as goats, cows and even land and house if the family is wealthy enough. This system can put a great financial burden on poor families and in absence of a dowry, in some cases, it leads to crimes against women. Until today women who marry and enter the groom’s family without a dowry are frequently harassed and mentally & physically tortured, sometimes even causing their death and this most frequently by driving them to desperation, despair and suicide.

A Heartrending Journey
Born into a poor family in the village of Beukot, Baglung, Single mother (For Privacy Purposes) was the sixth of seven siblings. It was a tight knitted family where love was plentiful but resources were scarce. Despite their poverty, her parents instilled the value of education in all their children. Single mother (For Privacy Purposes), vibrant and hopeful, completed her primary school but could not pursue further studies due to financial constraints.

Her marriage at 22 was a union of traditional hopes and modern dreams: dreams of freedom, prosperity and independence. However, the only dowry Single mother (For Privacy Purposes)'s parents were able to provide was a goat and the groom’s family considered this an Insult to their pride. From the first day they treated her with contempt and malevolence.  Her in-laws’ harsh words and treatment turned her new home into a place of despair and agony. Her relationship with her in-laws deteriorated on a daily base and abuses increased. Her husband had literally no say in this. He was helpless in the face of the collective power of hatred from his family towards his wife. When the situation became unbearable and implored by Single mother (For Privacy Purposes), they bluntly and bravely decided to move to India-Ghaziabad.

2 years into their marriage Single mother (For Privacy Purposes) gave birth to their daughter Daughter 1 and Daughter 2, two years later. For a brief period, it seemed happiness and contentment were within reach. The husband was earning enough to provide for the family.

Tragically, this happiness was short-lived as the husband succumbed to drug abuse. This addiction transformed him into a person unrecognizable to Single mother (For Privacy Purposes), marked by episodes of severe physical and emotional abuse. It led to Single mother (For Privacy Purposes) losing an unborn child coupled with couple more miscarriages due to the violence.

The situation escalated to a heart-breaking point when Single mother (For Privacy Purposes) discovered the horrifying episode of the husband’s inappropriate actions towards their elder daughter, when she found him touching her inappropriately. These revelations dissolved any remnants of trust and respect and Single mother (For Privacy Purposes) was furious!

The Depths of Despair
With courage forged from despair, she weighed all her options in ways to protect her daughters. When her abusive husband was asleep, she took all the money in the house, grabbed her children and fled, leaving behind everything but the clothes they wore. They took a rikshaw to the bus park and the same night they took a bus with destination to Nepal. She had hardly enough money to pay the bus-fare and when they arrived in Pokhara after a long and arduous journey they were starving. They sought refuge in her sister’s makeshift shanti in one of Pokhara’s slums. Relieved from the tyranny of a brute they mustered their last ounce of courage for a new beginning. Single mother (For Privacy Purposes) found work as a cleaner, earning Rs 8000 a month (around €60, -)—a sum that cries out of poverty’s relentless grip, barely keeping the threats of hunger and homelessness at bay.

Each day was a battle for survival fraught with constant danger and Insecurity. Single mother (For Privacy Purposes) a mother has the heart of a lioness that gave her the strength to fight on for her daughters and shield them from the hardships that have so deeply scarred their lives.

The Embrace of Hope
When the dire circumstances of Single mother (For Privacy Purposes)'s family was brought to our attention, we assessed the case and had a first Interview with Single mother (For Privacy Purposes). Translated from Nepali she said the following: "Since I got married, I was in hell for 10 years. Out of this hell my two lovely daughters were born. They gave me love, purpose and the strength to fight for their lives and give them hope and a better future."

Maybe this statement is reflecting the motivation and the spirit of all our MOTHERS more than anything else. May they all be blessed.

At night, when asleep, Single mother (For Privacy Purposes) holds her daughters close, whispering stories of a future bright with possibilities - defined by dreams, not despair! Single mother (For Privacy Purposes)'s unyielding resolve in the face of such profound adversity is an emotional reminder of the enduring strength of a mother’s heart.

"Bahini-Educare-Foundation" is dedicated to nurturing that spirit, ensuring Single mother (For Privacy Purposes) and her daughters forge a path filled with hope and illuminated by the collective light of our support.

We invite you to join us in transforming Single mother (For Privacy Purposes)’s family, to help write a new chapter—one not of sorrow, but of renewed strength and new possibilities. Your support extends beyond mere charity; it is a lifeline that mends broken spirits and crafts futures rich with potential.

Thank you for your compassion and commitment. Together, we do more than change lives; we heal hearts and forge paths towards brighter tomorrows.

As we always say: It’s simple. It’s simply B-E-F.

Surendra, Raymond & TEAM

Bahini Educare Foundation