By Dr. Ashok Dyalchand | Director
Savita (name changed) couldn’t bear the burden of her worries. She saw herself as an utter failure. A good wife ought to provide a son to perpetuate family name, how would she face her neighbor who had recently delivered a son. How would she cope with her own family she wondered? It was apparent that she had lost weight and was crying frequently. Every time she looked at her three daughters, she felt her husband was abusing her. She could no longer hold her tears back when she saw the Institute of Health Management Pachod (IHMP) nurse working in her slum. To make matters worse, the nurse was explaining to a group of women about family planning and proper spacing between children. Savita fled from that meeting. But it did not escape the attention of our nurse. She was determined to get to the root of Savita’s problem. When the nurse entered Savita’s home she saw Savita holding her three daughters and weeping her heart out. After much cajoling, Savita told her story haltingly. She told the nurse about the physical abuse by her husband, of her unwanted pregnancy just to get a son, of her husband’s refusal to use a condom and the shame she would bring on the family if she does not give birth to a son.
IHMP’s nurse was speechless realizing the gravity of the situation. She had come across cases of husbands blaming the wife for not producing sons but did not consider that it can happen in the slum she visits regularly! The nurse first explained to Savita how a husband is responsible for the birth of a son. She was obsessed with this task of making Savita’s husband to realize his misconceptions. She could not talk to the husband directly, so she involved a Male worker of IHMP. He explained patiently and in very simple language, how a husband’s Y chromosome is responsible for the birth of a son. The husband was surprised, how come nobody had ever told him about this simple fact. He did love Savita deeply and felt ashamed of his behavior towards her. He promised IHMP’s worker that he would share this knowledge with his other male friends. It is a crime to blame the wife for the birth of daughters, the husband said.
IHMP’s nurse was a happy lady on the day she went for her group meeting and met Savita. She saw Savita’s smile and walked towards her with outstretched arms. “I cannot thank you and your male colleague enough she said. My husband treats me with respect and we are very happy now”. And with a twinkle in her eye she whispered let me tell you a secret, “my husband uses condoms now!”
Over the last 18 months, IHMP has been able to increase the use of contraceptives from 8 to 29 percent. Married adolescent girls like Savita have benefited from our family planning drive. Our health program does not merely delay first birth and increase spacing between two births, it also supports girls like Savita in coping with the dire implications of the social norm of “Son Preference”.
Your support enables us to support hundred’s of married adolescent girls like Savita.
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