Justice and Human Rights United States Project #15488

Juvenile Victim-Offender Mediation

Project Report | May 1, 2024
A Friendship Worth Saving

By Lea Ramos | Programs Director - Mediation Services

Dawn and Jakobi were best friends until a physical altercation at school resulted in injuries to Dawn's face. The incident escalated to the point where police and security had to intervene. Jakobi was expelled from his current school and transferred to a new one. Their case was subsequently assigned to a Probation Officer, who referred it to CCR for mediation.

After completing the intake process with Jakobi's family, CCR staff contacted Dawn's family to propose mediation. Initially, Dawn's grandmother, Debbie, was resistant to the idea of her grandchild encountering the person who had hurt them, especially since they were supposed to be friends. CCR staff explained the mediation process to Debbie, assuring her that if she or Dawn ever felt uncomfortable, they could request the mediator to end the session. The staff also clarified the mediator's role, which is to create a safe space for everyone to express their feelings and share how the incident that brought them to mediation has affected their lives. After getting satisfactory answers to all her questions, Debbie agreed to proceed with mediation.

When the day arrived, the mediation started with Jakobi’s parents and Dawn’s grandmother shouting over each other and insisting the two teens stay away from each other, giving little space for the teenagers to express themselves. No one wanted to take accountability for the incident and each side cast blame on to the other. Once the mediator intervened and asked them how all this arguing was serving them, they all agreed it was not allowing them to make any progress. By relying on the CCR process, the mediator was then able to facilitate a more productive conversation. Once the parties were able to listen to each other, it was revealed that Debbie was really hurt that Cheri, Jakobi’s mother, never talked to her after the incident. Cheri was finally able to explain that she was held back by security guards and unable to communicate with Debbie. Once this bit of information was revealed, Debbie decided they wanted to drop any charges and “move on.”

Since the parties were moving toward an agreement, the mediator wanted to be sure they were able to come up with a clear agreement that addressed all of their concerns and decided to separate the adults and the teenagers and caucus with each group individually. In caucus, Dawn and Jakobi were able to express that they had always been each other’s closest confidants and that they really missed each other and all they wanted was to be friends again. They were once like family- always at each other’s houses, hanging out or having a meal together. When they talked about the incident, Dawn was able to say that what hurt her the most was realizing she had just lost her best friend. And Jakobi agreed that not being able to talk to Dawn had been really hard. The mediator had some concerns about the violence of the situation and, using a trauma-informed approach, asked the teens how they could avoid an incident like this in the future. Dawn and Jakobi talked about how they would communicate with one another more openly and walk away if they were feeling angry or if things felt like they were getting heated. This was not the first time they had been in an argument, it was just the first time it had gotten physical.

When the mediator met with Debbie, Cheri and Emile they were calmer and able to talk about how the fight between their children had affected them. Cheri said she missed having Dawn at the house and that Jakobi had been very sad without his friend. Debbie told Cheri and Emile how hurt she was that Jakobi had injured Dawn. Jakobi’s parents agreed that it was upsetting that Jakobi had hit Dawn and that they had talked to him about it and he understood it was wrong. Debbie expressed that it was helpful for her to hear that. By the end of the mediation, the three adults collectively agreed that leaving the past behind would enable Dawn and Jakobi to rebuild their friendship, provided that school continued to be a priority.

The mediation served as a crucial turning point for Jakobi's parents and Dawn's grandmother, providing them with a unique opportunity to air out and reconcile their differences. It served as a platform where they could openly discuss their grievances, paving the way for mutual understanding.

Moreover, it wasn't only the adults who benefited from this process. The mediation also offered the two friends, Jakobi and Dawn, an invaluable chance to mend their strained friendship. They were given the space to express their feelings and thoughts, enabling them to better understand each other's perspectives. With this newfound understanding they managed to come up with a friendly, comprehensive strategy to navigate any future disagreements.

At the end of the mediation, both families moved forward by signing the agreement where Dawn and Debbie requested all charges against Jakobi be dropped. The parents and grandmother also exchanged phone numbers to maintain open communication and discuss any concerns about Dawn and Jakobi's friendship in the future. They left the mediation with a palpable sense of relief, the weight of their disagreements finally lifted off their shoulders. They also held onto a newfound optimism, hopeful that with time, patience, and effort, their relationships with each other would slowly but surely go back to the good old days.

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Jan 4, 2024
Reaffirming a Family's Bond

By Leandra Ramos | Programs Director - Mediation Services

Brothers Lucas (13 years old) and Dario (15 years old) are typical teens who enjoy spending time with friends and playing sports. The brothers have a strong relationship with their mother, Theresa, who works hard to ensure they have everything they need. The family’s bond is important to all three members. When Lucas and Dario were arrested for retail theft at Walgreens, their first arrests, both cases were referred for mediation and they opted to participate in a joint session with their mother. The mediation session was scheduled on a Saturday morning to accommodate their school schedule and their mother, Theresa’s, work schedule.

During the mediation, the mediator observed that Lucas seemed disengaged and unwilling to participate. On the other hand, Dario was actively involved and communicative with the mediator and his family. The mediator's main challenge was to find a way to engage Lucas in the process. When asked about their thoughts on the incident, Lucas simply stated that he was bored and angry about being caught. Dario, on the other hand, admitted that they were bored and believed they wouldn't get caught, but he acknowledged that their actions were wrong and that they now had to face the consequences.

While Lucas was holding back, the mediator noticed that when he did speak, he mentioned the word "respect." When asked about the meaning of respect, it took both brothers a long time to respond. Dario defined respect as being taken seriously as a person, while Lucas struggled to provide a clear definition but mentioned wanting acknowledgment as a person. When asked if they felt respected during the arrest, both answered no. The mediator then asked if they respected their mother, to which they replied yes. The mediator emphasized that respect is a value and asked if they had any values they wanted to share. They mentioned respect, commitment, and family as some of their values.

When the mediator spoke to Theresa, she expressed surprise and disappointment. She said that she always makes sure her kids have everything they need and want, and considered herself a good mother and provider. She couldn't understand why her sons would engage in theft if they didn't have any need for it. After hearing this, the kids apologized to their mother and explained to her that it was just fun for them, and they didn't think about how this could affect her.

By the end of the session, Lucas, Dario and Theresa felt more comfortable and decided to write an agreement among themselves. Lucas and Dario agreed that they wanted to stay in school, and their mom agreed to help them get involved in sports activities they enjoy. The two brothers also agreed to consult with their mother and talk through good choices before taking actions. The mother expressed gratitude for the mediation, saying that it provided her with the opportunity to continue the conversation she started with her children when the incident occurred. The mediation allowed the family to find closure and move forward.

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Sep 8, 2023
Wrong Package, Right Attitude

By Leandra Ramos | Programs Director

Charlie and his mother participated in a family mediation with CCR after Charlie was detained for opening a package for another apartment’s resident. Early into the mediation, Charlie explained that he was working on getting his GED and planned to eventually go to college. Charlie works full time and is focused on achieving his goals. He shared that he felt quite embarrassed and ashamed to have to do the mediation, and everything that has come from his arrest. He did not know why he opened the package, but he knew it was wrong.

Charlie felt ashamed that his mother found out about what he had done. It also hurt him to know that she had to miss work because of his actions. During the private meeting with the mediator, Charlie’s mother shared that she was concerned about his wellbeing and mental health. She was worried about how this mistake might affect his future. Additionally, she was worried about Charlie not taking his medication or going to therapy for his ADHD diagnosis. Charlie’s mom believed that this was the most pressing issue because she observed that Charlie has a tendency to make mistakes when he becomes anxious and unfocused.

The two main agenda items for the mediation included the incident itself and prioritizing the help Charlie needed to manage his ADHD. It was evident throughout the session that the family had an established, healthy line of open communication. While Charlie’s mother did express that what he did was wrong, she made her unconditional love apparent. She made a direct ask from her son - she wanted Charlie to promise that he wouldn’t make the same mistake again. Charlie promised to not let his mom down again and asked for forgiveness.

The mediation allowed both Charlie and his mother to express their feelings. They both told each other how much they love each other, and that they did not want to see the other one suffer. They also talked about how they could each support each other. Charlie felt certain that he could achieve his goal of obtaining his GED with his parents’ support.

In terms of managing his ADHD, Charlie was able to identify what he needed from his mother moving forward. Specifically, he told his mother that when he’s craving space because he feels overwhelmed, he will tell her. He shared that putting his headphones on and listening to music really helps him to calm down when anxiety starts to set in. Charlie also explained that he was frustrated with his doctor not making him feel heard. The two discussed how they were going to talk to the doctor together to see if they can change his medication because it makes him not feel like himself.

The mediator emphasized with the family about how difficult it can be to have these kinds of conversations, and how remarkable it was to witness them choose to engage in meaningful dialogue as a family. The mother explained how happy she felt with CCR because their needs were accommodated (by scheduling the mediation during the morning, securing a Spanish-speaking mediator, and sending regular reminders). She felt that the mediation process demonstrated care for her son’s future and reminded her that he’s not viewed as a criminal.

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