Parenting skills for 30 orphanage-leavers

Every summer we take a small group of our families away for a summer camp to work intensively on their parenting skills.  This year five families took part.  We selected them both because they had particular issues in common that they needed to work on (sibling rivalry, difficulties with disciplining their children, and difficulties giving age-appropriate levels of responsibility), and because of their motivation to improve their skills.  This small group spent seven days at our log cabin in beautiful countryside accompanied by our team.

During the summer camp, we explored the fairy tale of the magical Swan Geese, whose theme was very relevant for our families.  In the tale, a couple leave their daughter in charge of her younger brother.  One day she loses track of him and the magic swan geese snatched him away.  She chases after her brother and finds him in the witch, Baba Yaga's house.  After a mouse warns them that the witch plans to eat them both, she escapes with her brother.

As we discussed the tale in separate groups, the older children really connected with the story.  One of the children said that Baba Yaga would just come and get them again and eat them, and to stop that happening, "the children needed to be given another woman to look after them, and maybe go into the woods with them."  When asked if they would tell anyone what had happened if they were the children in the story, Liza said, "No, because they would tell her off for not coping and not looking after her brother properly.

Meanwhile, the parents were able to voice their desire to escape their responsibilities, and also some of the consequences.  One mother remembered leaving her children alone together, only to find that they broke the TV.  We talked about what levels of responsibility the children could manage at different ages, and also worked on giving clear instructions.  Since then, the parents have a better understanding of where their responsibilities lie.  They have also been able to encourage their children to help more with age-appropriate tasks.  For example, Liza has been able to pop out to the shops, knowing clearly what is expected of her, and that she is able to manage.

Along side these discussions, we also led play therapy and creative sessions, and there was plenty of free time.  Even within seven days, we could see a difference in the children.  At the start of the camp the children mainly played alone, but their relationships improved through the week.  Timur had brought some lego with him, which he fiercely guarded.  Towards the end of camp, he was able to share with Artyom, "Just don't lose it", he said.

At the end of the camp, Dliana, Timur's mama, said, "We understood each other well and everything worked out - we had fun, and we negotiated well.

Back in St Petersburg, we continued our home visits to families in crisis throughout the summer.  None of the nine families we look after in this way were able to leave the city over the summer, so we continued our group activities through June and then visited regularly through July and August.  We took on one new family over the summer.  Valery's baby was taken into hospital after she was born.  We were concerned that Valery would not be able to bond with her baby, so we helped her visit her baby in hospital.  Now they are both home, we continue to support them, making sure that the baby's needs are met.

Sadly, as well as the good news of our families growing stronger, as an organisation, and as individuals, we have had a great loss this autumn.  Our co-founder and director, Elena Sukhorukova, sadly died in September after a serious illness.  She was a person of great vision and compassion who has had an extraordinary impact on the care of orphanage-leavers in our city and beyond.  Our thoughts and prayers are with her family, and the many orphanage-leavers whose lives she has touched.  Fortunately, she has built a strong team, and our work will continue in the same spirit.