"Bismillah, I will begin my story from my beautiful early days, when my soul cared about nothing and did not complain of sadness. Back then, my tears were only shed so that my mother would hold me, providing me with a sense of security in her lap. Those were the best and happiest days of my life. I was the first joy for my parents, and my mother, who has been and still is like a friend to me, from whom I inherited all the qualities of love, tenderness, and sensitivity, and from my father, I inherited all the dignity and respect.
My childhood was filled with warmth, compassion, and affection until I became a teenager at the age of thirteen. That's when I faced a situation as a young girl that planted fear within me, making me fearful of anything outside my home. From here began my journey of suffering, and I realize that the word "suffering" is not used lightly.
During this period, the moments of terror and war started in my beloved country, where we stayed in our warm home for a year, which was the last year of safety. Although this period was not devoid of fear due to the events, we were fine. My family was complete, with no one missing. Our home was warm despite the coldness of the outside world. Then began our journey of displacement. We were forced to leave our warm home, moving from one area to another, from one neighborhood to another, and from one house to another. In every area, neighborhood, and house, I encountered thousands of tragedies as a teenage refugee. What could my mental state be?
I grew up in an atmosphere of fear and terror at a time when I was supposed to live my best days, bidding farewell to childhood and welcoming youth, but in a terrible way that I was left a scar in me. During the periods of displacement, we moved to the countryside of Homs, which were the worst days of my life. Neither the lands felt like mine, nor was there anyone to alleviate my suffering. I found neither safety nor peace during that period, yet we were grateful to God that our family was unharmed, despite everything. However, this did not last long.
At our last displacement, my future husband proposed to me, bringing back some hope to my pain-filled life. Indeed, I got married, left my family, and went to my small house. Life began to smile at me with the presence of a loving, tender husband. Two months into my marriage, I am now going to become a mother. My family's joy and mine were indescribable, for joy had not entered our lives for a long time. From this joy and happiness to sadness again, but this time the sadness was deeper and once again changed my life. The sadness that has not died within me to this moment. Yes, it's the war again that stole a piece of my heart and part of my soul. it took my younger sister, the pampered butterfly of the home, whom I had told just a few months ago that she would become an aunt despite her young age of ten. But death was closer than our dreams and wishes. She was gone, and my soul went with her.
The war did not suffice with this amount of sadness but also separated me from my family, my family who are everything to me, my family whose wounds from my sister's departure have not healed. I was forced to be away from them, helpless. I suffered without them. Now, I am a stranger in a place I do not belong to, suffering from the effects of separation and the pains of pregnancy until I gave birth to my first child, who brought joy to my life after years of sadness. My happiness was immense but unfortunately incomplete without my loved ones.
Here, my life began to stabilize somewhat because I had gotten used to the place and adapted to my new situation. I am a very patient woman. Four years have passed, I have become more mature, and decided to become a mother for the second time. I was very happy with my pregnancy, and these were my happiest days, although I suffered from a health issue during my pregnancy, but I overcame it with the grace of God. This time, I wished for a girl to name her after my beloved and lost one, but God blessed me with a boy like an angel. When I gave birth to him, my life became more beautiful, especially after the completion of my maternal feelings.
Two and a half years have passed since his arrival, and my love for him grows as he grows. I am now suffering from a lot of free time, and by chance, I learned about Masarat initiative and decided to continue my education, being passionate about science and learning, but I was deprived of it due to the war and the general circumstances. I joined the Masarat’s family, and it really felt like a family. I spend half of my time studying through this wonderful initiative that changed my life for the better. Through it, I had a beautiful opportunity to share my story with the psychological specialist, Miss Amal, who was nothing but a new hope in my life. She helped me a lot, as I desperately needed her advice and comforting words.
Here I end my story, praying to God to grant me success and fulfill my dreams, and to compensate me for all the pain and sadness I have experienced in my life. I wrote this story so that everyone who reads it knows that no sadness lasts forever, nor does happiness, and that God's kindness is always present. With wishes of success for you all." Bayan, a student and a mother.
Links:
![Share on Twitter]()
![Share on Facebook]()
