Lifeskills for 2,587 Children in South Africa

Today, I want to tell you about the often interesting, and laughable situations my staff find themselves in on the odd occasion!

Since Monday 28^th August 23, Elizabeth has been training 20 parents on Journey of Life, Children’s Rights and Child Participation. The training goes for 3days. We recruit participants through the Scouts, we ask for their parents to come to training. This is the usual approach.

Last week, we did the same, a different area. We have funding for 20parents to attend, the first day 20 mums came for the training, they enjoyed it so much, the next day we had 24participants, the final day 28 participants. Thanks to your support we could supplement the training budget from an institutional donor and the other participants to join.

Well last week the message was sent out by a very keen Field Officer to have the training in her village, this was a shock to Elizabeth when she found out because although Elizabeth had planned, she had not instructed the Field Officer to send out word yet because a venue had not been secured.

So fast forward to Monday, 20 participants, including the local Induna (community leader) arrive at the Field Officers home at 0900! Elizabeth arrives to find the Induna had made a plan and requested a local church to host the training. Under the direction of the Field Officer, off they go to the church only to find it is locked up. No one is available. Elizabeth rings the Induna to tell them that the church is locked and no one is around to open! The Induna informs Elizabeth she is at the wrong church; it is just as well all these places are within walking distance. So off everyone goes once again to the new church.

The story doesn’t end there! After settling in to her training rhythm, 4 men burst into the church and scare everyone, they demand to know where the pastor is. The story goes that the men put up the corrugated iron roofing and had not yet been paid. They demanded the pastor, who, of course, was not there. Then they literally proceeded to remove the iron from the roof, a whole lot of banging, noise and commotion later, the roof was removed, the iron destroyed so that the pastor could not use it and hire someone else to do the job. The training continued, despite the noise and interruptions.

Once finished, the men came back in to the church and thanked Elizabeth!

What a way to start a training. The joys of working in the rural areas. The ladies were very startled yesterday and a bit fearful, however 18 attended todays training. From the photo you can see the alleged corrugated iron!

The training has had the result already of parents realising that they are the problem when it comes to their children, they are often rude, name calling, spiteful and abusive. The training is very powerful as the adults link with their past experiences growing up with the difficult situations they endured and applied those past experiences to their children. Often the revelation produces such conviction that the parents change immediately.

Elizabeth has done this training in excess of 150 times over 20yrs and she never gets bored, “There are always new parents and the groups are always different with different dynamics however similar outcomes, the adults change their relationships with the children for the better, I LOVE THIS TRAINING!”

After 6months we go back to the parents with their children, to hold a focus group to hear about the transformation which takes place and if it is sustained. It always produces positive, lasting change. It is a wonderful training which causes wonderful positive changes in children, parents, and families.

I hope you enjoyed Elizabeth’s tale. Just one day in the life of a community worker!

Blessings to you

Louise

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Greetings Avuxeni!

Today I am writing to you about something a bit different. I try and make my letters uplifting, impactual and exiting. Which is a good thing to do but I also want you to understand the context in which we work. I have given statistics in the past about poverty, crime, HIV etc, today I am not going to do that. Today I want to talk about some very real attitudes which every day we have to battle and push through.

These attitudes affect our work, the way we work, how we work, the impact we have, the outcomes we try and achieve and part of what we are addressing through the work we do. I want to speak about a cultural matter which is so debilitating to the individual, to the families, the communities and the nation as a whole.

I remember reading a socio-cultural research book a few years ago which spoke about luck. According to this in depth analysis of the South African psyche, there is the belief that a majority of people hold is that everyone is born with 100% luck. Any advancement in life is considered “Luck”. So what?

Well, consider a child who studies hard at school, matriculates, goes to university, gets a well-paying job, a partner, a home, a car, all the usual achievements associated with working hard, self-discipline, personal conviction, wise administration of finances etc.

According to the cultural perspective the effort expended is not considered at all, what is however considered is that you have STOLEN my “Luck” I had a 100% but every time you got something I didn’t it was because you STOLE my good luck!! This practice does not acknowledge the hard work, the determination, the dedication required to achieve success.

It doesn’t stop there, because you have stolen from me, I have a right to go to the witch doctor and have a curse put on you! Not just a curse, if I feel I have been robbed from so significantly, I can have you poisoned or killed. Physical harm is one of many outcomes but it will also include gossip and slander, trying to undermine for example the relationship between the couple through spreading lies about infidelities. I have also known Molotov cocktails to be thrown into homes because of jealousy.

This attitude infects the rural areas where we live and work. People cannot celebrate their achievements; it is difficult for people to share what they have attained because of fear of the reactions from others. To give you an example, our kids when they go on to university or work, often don’t keep in touch, so we can celebrate their success, but instead they are secretive and have to keep quiet about what they have achieved. It is so sad to see people having to move away from their villages to be safely successful.

Another example is Netaly, whom you have met before, who is passionate about helping others, she has been working as a volunteer with Nali Bali an early reading NGO we have partnered with, but also as a beneficiary with the Self Help Group (SHG) program. Netaly has supported other groups in their book keeping skills as a volunteer just because that is the sort of person she is, helpful and wanting to see others advance.

I am proud to share that we brought Netaly formally on to the Children’s Program in the afternoons and in the mornings she will continue helping with the SHG Program. I asked Elizabeth (Program Manager) if we should go to her old SHG group and formally introduce her back as a Field Officer, this comment was met with an immediate “NO”, the reason being, the loss of “Luck” the others will experience.

It is so sad. I know every culture has something similar ie in Australia and New Zealand it is the Tall Poppy Syndrome, is a term that refers to successful people being criticised. This occurs when their peers believe they are too successful, or are bragging about their success. Intense scrutiny and criticism of such a person is termed as "Cutting down the tall poppy". "Cutting down the tall poppy" is sometimes used by business entrepreneurs to describe those who deliberately criticise other people for their success and achievements.

In Japan, a similar common expression is "the nail that sticks up gets hammered down". In the Netherlands, this expression is "don't put your head above ground level" . In Chile, this expression is known as "chaquetear" ('pull the jacket'). In Scandinavia, this expression is known as Law of Jante, it contains rules and stipulations such as "you're not to think you are anything special" and "Perhaps you don't think we know a few things about you?".

We want to see people’s achievements celebrated, and to change slowly bit by bit this attitude.

I would like you to celebrate with Netaly the fact that she has earned her first full time employment with KTD196. Made possible through support of people like yourself. Together we are changing lives, families and communities.

Thank you for always having our backs and for being part of the solution.

Blessings

Louise

Ps if you would like to leave Netaly a message of encouragement, please go to our website and leave a message.

My name is Netaly, I am 38 years old. I have a two children, my son is 20yrs old and at University, my daughter is 5yrs old. I live with my mum in Myakayaka a very poor village. We don't have running water, electricity, we have a pit toilet. We survive on my youngest child's Child Support Grant of R500 a month ($27USD). My mother is too young for the pension yet. We some times have piece jobs where we do farming work to earn more money, but that is seasonal and not lasting.


I am involved in Nali Bali on Mondays and Thursdays with reading groups. And then on Tuesdays and Wednesdays I go to SHG groups. Nali Bali is a reading project to help get kids involved in reading and to learn to love reading to help them at school. SHG is for me! To help me. SHG opened the door to Nali Bali, I was recommended through KTD196 to Nali Bali to work with the children, I love it. I participate in both projects because I love it. I love to help people. I love to work and I love to help people. I love helping anybody’s.

SHG, I love it better today because it changed my life in this manner. I didn’t know how to plan my things, I didn’t know how to budget, I didn’t know how to plan, it made a big difference to me and my family, it just opened my mind and it helps me emotionally. I can feel that no no no sometimes people have been through the same problems as me, so I learn the best ways to help myself in situations when I thought there was no answer. So it helps me so much and with the SHG everybody’s starting to run a business and myself, I am selling eggs and yes, I am SUCCEEDING!

I am having a dream now thanks to KTD196. I like to volunteer. I want to help others; I feel so good about my life now.

Thank you for helping KTD196 help me!

Netaly

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