By Bianca | Project Assistant
Yrjö's life was changed by his spouse's memory loss. His wife moved from their home to an institution and lived there for six years before her death. Little by little, loneliness crept into Yrjö's life.
Yrjö enjoys the water element. At home in Helsinki, he has paintings of sailing ships and the sea, and many maritime-related objects. His own cottage was still in Tammisaari when his wife was alive. Yrjö says he was keen on fishing.
"So was I. But when she died, I gave the cottage away and sold the boats. It just felt so awful when everything suddenly stopped. I think we were together for 54 years. That's a long time."
On holiday, Wiberg rafted with friends all over eastern Finland for years. When his wife fell ill, the friends suddenly disappeared.
"I didn't really understand it. The doctor explained to me that it can be difficult for some people to deal with serious illness."
What Yrjö missed the most was spending time with his spouse and friends and talking. Although his daughter and her children visited him occasionally, the lonely moments were hard to bear. That's when he started to drink.
"I used to drink, but in moderation. But then it got a bit rough. It hit me so hard when my wife had to go into hospital. We had an extremely good marriage. "
While in hospital, his wife attended a peer support group for people with memory problems. There was a separate group for the spouses. On one occasion, a nurse asked Yrjö directly about his alcohol use.
"I said yes, I do, and maybe a little too much." Both the nurse and the doctor suggested Yrjö could join the Pilke group. He decided to get to know the group. Both the participants and the facilitators immediately seemed like "nice guys". He has now been attending the group once a week for four years.
"Nowadays I feel good on Tuesdays when I know there's a Pilke group. I look forward to chatting. We may not be friends, but we're friends. After the group, I take the others to the grocery store, because I have a car. Then we often stay at the market for coffee."
In the summer, the group has barbecues, boules and croquet, while in the winter they play ball indoors and listen to music. But the most important thing is conversation. That moment is the best, when we talk about how the week has gone." - says Yrjö
If you want to support people like Yrjö in their fight against loneliness and alcohol, you can support the Pilke groups by donating to this project. Thank you so much for everything you give!
By Bianca | Project Assistant
By Bianca | Project Assistant
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