Widowhood in Nepal

Project Report | Sep 12, 2022
Success Story of Single mother Family

By Surendra Pariyar | Project Leader

Re-integrated Family

Sarita (name Changed)“EduCare Family”
Sarita (name Changed) 42 years old, Mother
Reeta (name Changed)23 years old, Daughter
Reeja (Name Changed) 19 years old, Daughter
Ritesh (Name Changed) 17 years old, Son
(age on reintegration)

This family has been re-integrated in June 2022.

In our previous reports we described the background and the circumstances of those “EduCare-Families” that are currently receiving our support. In this report however, we are describing one of our families that was successfully reintegrated recently.

Narrative: Sarita (name Changed) family was admitted as an Educare Family in July 10^th 2016. Sarita (name Changed) got married at the age of 17, to 18-year-old Ramesh (Name Changed). It was “love marriage” and since both their parents didn’t consent, Sarita (name Changed) and her husband had no choice but to move from their village to Pokhara to make a living. Ramesh (Name Changed) found a job as a truck driver and his salary made for a simple living. Over the years they had three children, two daughters and one son. All attended Government school and were eager to learn. In the year 2013 Ramesh (Name Changed) died in a truck accident at the age of 34. Bereft of the husband, father and the only bread earner the family was devastated and in dire straits. With no support from neither family and in absence of any social net at all life became a nightmare.

At the time her daughters Reeta (Name Changed) was 16, Reeja (Name Changed) 12 and the boy Ritesh (Name Changed) 10 years old. At his age particularly destitute adolescent girls are very vulnerable to be trafficked into the sex-trade.

They moved to a rickety hut in one of the slums in Pokhara and Sarita (name Changed) desperately struggled for survival. The whole family was always on the brink of disaster and Sarita (name Changed) lost her fighting spirit and became suicidal. It was at this time, that a social worker who knew about this family came to our office and explained their situation to us. We immediately went to meet this family and assessed their situation. One week later we admitted them as one of our “EduCare-Families” and provided them with all the support that was required for them to live a life in safety and wellbeing.

Over the six years that this family was under the wings of “BEF” all family members went through a dramatic positive change. With the basic needs met, all regained hope, health and spirit and they took up the challenge of daily life with zeal and courage. With our encouragement and support they moved away from the slum to a safe neighborhood. The children all successfully pursued their education and meanwhile the two daughters finished their education and both are now working and supporting their family. Ritesh (Name Changed) now aged 17, still pursues his education. Since he is an average student, we will try to persuade him to start an apprenticeship after finishing class ten and this as a carpenter, electrician or plumber. All these professions are in high demand and make for a good career.

As for Sarita (name Changed), her life took an amazing turn. Over the years of our support, we encouraged her to attend informal education which is available for women in Pokhara. This was followed by a training provided for potential female Police officers. Given that Sarita (name Changed) belongs to the low-caste and there are provisions from the Government to integrate people belonging to the low castes into the police-force, Sarita (name Changed) successfully applied and was employed as a police-officer in the female-police-department. Now she is earning a decent salary and all are respected members in their community: From hunger, rags and desperation to a decent life in confidence and self-respect.

She frequently is visiting our office, beaming from confidence and courage in her police uniform and all of us are immensely proud and encouraged by this unique success-story.

This is making all our efforts and care worthwhile and this for us, as your implementing partner, and for you as our partners and donors.

And what about the costs?! Over the past 6 years we invested a total of around € 8760,00 for the support and the empowerment of this family. Approximately € 2200,- for each family-member.

And no, Sarita (name Changed) didn’t commit suicide, and no, none of her daughters ended up in prostitution in a “dance-restaurant” in Nepal or in a brothel in India, and no, the boy didn’t end up working in a brick factory as a twelve-year-old ruining his health! All family members are now respected members in their society, thriving and prospering.

We made an investment in their future, and we believe that this is the best of investments there is!

“The end is inherent in the means” (Gandhi)

We proudly declare that this is “SUSTAINABILITY” at the very best!

Let us continue together and rejoice in this success and the enormous impact our work is making for our beneficiaries!

It’s simple, it’s simply “BEF”!

Sincerely yours

Surendra, Raymond and the TEAM

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Jun 3, 2022
HEALTHCAMP IN THE SLUMS AND SANDMINES AREA

By Surendra Pariyar | Executive Director

Dear friends, partners & donors,

Since the winter of 2021 we started to reach out to the women and the children who are living and working in slave-like conditions on the river-banks of the Seti-river on the outskirts of Pokhara.

Working in the sand mines is hard and perilous labor and the habitats of the families’ who call this place their home are very basic makeshift shanties. They are deprived of their most basic needs, like clean water or protection from the cold winter and the scorching heat during the summer, let alone healthcare or any other life-support.

These women have no other choice and they are working every day and at all seasons and this for the survival of their children. They are facing harsh living and working conditions, digging by the river with the water up to their waists and carrying have loads of wet sand.

During the winter we provided them with sleeping bags and our nurse is paying them a visit on a weekly base. By now a relationship of trust and mutual respect has been developed between the slum-dwellers and “BEF” and now they are welcoming us with gratitude and appreciation.

Recently we organized a “HEALTHCAMP”, that was conducted by our board member Doctor Shuvechchha and our TEAM and over 100 women and girls received a basic check-up, medical advice and medicine for the treatment of their ailments.

Now that a good relationship has been established between these beneficiaries and out TEAM we will gradually extend our support to the neediest and this in particular to the teen-aged girls and young women who are most at risk of abuse and exploitation.

This is one more new initiative by “BEF” and the effect of our support is immediate and efficient!

It’s simple, it’s simply “BEF”!

Thank you for your support

Surendra, Raymond & the TEAM

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Mar 3, 2022
Our new Single Mother family

By Surendra Pariyar | Executive Director

Single mother: (Name WithHeld) Aged 31

Beneficiaries: (Name WithHeld), Aged 11 (Daughter)

(Name WithHeld), Aged 8 (Daughter)

Family Details :

(Name WithHeld) was born in a small village called Lahachowk, situated on the foothills of the Himalayas in the vicinity of Pokhara. Her parents owned a small farm and some livestock, enough for the family of six to live a simple village life, like the majority of the people who live in rural Nepal. When (Name WithHeld) was three years old, her legs were badly burnt while she was sleeping nearby an open fire in the house. These accidents are frequent in Nepal because many villagers are still cooking on open wood-fires.

This is one of the reasons why “BEF” is providing “Improved-Cooking-Stoves” to our beneficiaries and this wherever possible. (Please see: “Improved-Cooking-Stove” on our website: www.bahinifoundation.org)

(Name WithHeld) attended school for a couple of years only, because she had to help with the daily chores from early age on.

When she was 19 years old, her parents arranged a marriage with a man from a neighboring village who was laboring on construction sites. A daily wage earner, he used to get drunk after the wages were paid out. Sadly, this is a frequent habit among many of the working-class males.

After the first daughter (Name WithHeld) was born the man’s bad temper worsened, he became violent and he started to beat his wife frequently.

After the birth of the second daughter (Name WithHeld), the husband frustrated by the fact that his wife didn’t deliver a male heir, turned increasingly violent and frequently brutalized his defenseless wife.

When he extended his abusiveness towards his daughters and the Mother was no longer able to protect them, she fled her home together with her two daughters aged 7 & 3, with nothing more than the clothes they were wearing and a few items they were able to carry. At the time (Name WithHeld) was 25 years old.

Husbands leaving their families or terrorizing them when only females are born is a sad reality and “BEF” is frequently confronted with these worst forms of gender discrimination and violence.

(Name WithHeld) found a small room in Pokhara and she went to work on construction sites, carrying heavy loads of bricks and mortar.

Due to the deep scars in her legs from her burning accident as a child (Name WithHeld) was always in pain. One day the hard labor provoked a uterus prolapse, a disease that many working-class women in Nepal have to cope with. Things turned from bad to worse since she was no longer able to carry heavy loads for many hours a day and she ended up begging for food in the streets of Pokhara.

(Name WithHeld) came to know about “BEF” and she recently applied for support.

Given the dire circumstances and the imminent danger that this family of three is facing we decided to take this family under our umbrella without any delay!

The yearly expenses to provide and care for this family of three amounts to approximately € 1200,-. This is including the treatment of the uterus prolapse and other health problems. Our board member Dr. Shuvechchha , a gynecologist will organize the referral to a Clinic that is specialized for an adequate treatment for this particular issue.

We do not have the funds required to take new families on board, but we are determined to extend our help to more such families that are in dire need of help and we are confident that our growing donor-community will approve and support our decisions and our actions!

From now (Name WithHeld) and her two daughters are under “BEF’s” protection and they live a life in safety and dignity; for them our/your support is making all the difference!

It’s simple, it’s “simply BEF”!

Sincerely yours

Surendra and the TEAM

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