Gender Equality Nepal Project #38338

Empower Feed Educate Single mother headed families

by Bahini Educare Foundation

Project Report | Jul 20, 2022
Family of the Month - June

By Surendra Pariyar | Project Leader

New Family Admitted in March, 2022

Single mother: Name Withheld for Privacy, Aged 36

Children: Anjila (Name changed), Aged 9 (Daughter)

Reet (Name changed) Aged 12 (Daughter)

Ram (Name changed) Aged 16 (son)

Narrative:
Name Withheld for Privacy was born to a farmer’s family in the hills in Kaski district. Her parents owned a small farm and some livestock, enough to feed a family of seven.

Name Withheld for Privacy attended the local school around 6 KM away and every day she would walk to her school and this barefoot lest her black-school-shoes would be damaged. She was a very good and diligent student, staying up late at night for her studies and this by candle-light due to frequent “load shedding”, as power cuts are called in Nepal. Name Withheld for Privacy had high aspirations, she wanted to become a nurse and encouraged by her teachers she was inspired and filled with hope.

But her parents decided otherwise and at the age of 17 they arranged a marriage with a 19-year-old from their village.

Name Withheld for Privacy did everything in her means, from trying to escape to threaten with suicide to avoid the faith in marrying a man she didn’t want and continue her studies. But it was all in vain, the collective pressure from her family and the whole village was too powerful and she had no choice but to surrender and accept her faith.

As the tradition in Nepal holds, Name Withheld for Privacy moved to the house of her in-laws. A young woman’s status when moving to the house of her in-law’s is often reduced to the status of a bonded laborer and they are treated like servants. A faith that Name Withheld for Privacy was now sharing with countless young women in Nepal.

Over the next ten years Name Withheld for Privacy gave birth to three children, first a boy named Ram (Name changed), followed by a girl named Reet (Name changed) and the youngest daughter Anjila (Name changed).

In the year 2015 when a devastating earthquake struck the western part of Nepal, their house was destroyed and things turned from bad to worse.

They had no other choice than moving to Pokhara in search for work and a place to live. They ended up in a makeshift-shanti in a slum in the vicinity of Pokhara and Roka (Name changed) found work as a day laborer.

Somehow, they managed to survive and the children attended Government school, but ends never met! For many slumdwellers the environment in the slums is conducive to drugs, gambling, prostitution and alcoholism and soon Roka (Name changed) would be wasting his daily wage in drinking and gambling and life became increasingly harsh for the family members.

Food insecurity and an increasingly violent husband and father made life hell for Name Withheld for Privacy and her three children. She worked day and night to feed her children and her abusive husband who stopped working. The compensation for her sacrifice was physical violence and abuse by her alcoholic husband.

Roka (Name changed) died in December 2021 at the age of 36, and this from the consequences of advanced alcoholism. A couple of months after his demise Name Withheld for Privacy applied for support at “BEF”.

Soon after the assessment of their situation, in March 2022, this Family was admitted as a new “Bahini-Educare-Family”.

When we informed Name Withheld for Privacy that from now, we would support her and her children and care for them, she said the following:

“When I was 17 years old all my dreams were shattered and I wanted to die; and the following 20 years have been a nightmare for me.

And now I can dream again, I can dream that my son will be an engineer and I can dream that my daughters will be nurses and that they will have a good life in independence! Thank you!!!”

Name Withheld for Privacy, your tears of joy and gratitude are our inspiration and we will do our best to make your dreams come true.

IT’S SIMPE; IT’S SIMPLY “BEF”

Sincerely yours

Surendra & the TEAM

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Jun 3, 2022
Family of the Month - May

By Surendra Pariyar | Executive Director

Single mother: Name Withheld for Privacy, Aged 29

Beneficiaries: Rasmi (Name Changed), Aged 12 (Daughter)

Kriya (Name Changed), Aged 9 (Daughter)

Narrative :

Name Withheld for Privacy was born in a small village in the hills of Parbat district. According to her she had a happy childhood, helping with the daily chores in the small family farm and attending Government-school up to grade eight. Like the majority of the girls in rural Nepal she lived a simple life, just as their ancestors did for many generations. They had no demands other than satisfying the most basic needs and life followed the natural flow of the seasons. When she was 15, electricity first reached her village and this was the biggest event on record for her and her whole village. When the first TV was bought by a villager, the whole community would gather around his house in the evening to witness a different, fascinating reality from their own.

Moved by a Bollywood-romance that she was watching on TV, Name Withheld for Privacy fell in love with Karma (Name Changed), a boy she met in her school and as this love-story has it, she became pregnant.

Rejected by their families the couple moved to a different district where her husband found a job as a construction worker.

In the year 2010 their first daughter Rasmi (Name Changed) was born followed by the second daughter Kriya (Name Changed) two years later.

When pregnant with her second child, Karma (Name Changed) took to drinking Raksi, a homemade liqueur that is cheaply available and widely consumed by the poor people in Nepal. It can be stated that “Raksi” and consequent alcoholism are the main cause for the destruction of many families and livelihoods, for domestic violence, rape and abuse in Nepal!

After the birth of the second daughter Kriya (Name Changed), he had turned into a violent alcoholic who constantly terrorized and abused his family. Name Withheld for Privacy and her daughters suffered from food insecurity and the lack of the most basic needs. After another terrible night of violence, Name Withheld for Privacy, shattered and traumatized, fled the terror of her raging husband empty handed with her daughters, five and one year old at the time.

They found temporary shelter in her sister’s house in the vicinity of Pokhara until Name Withheld for Privacy found work on a farm, and this in the village of Ghachowk where another of our “EduCare-Families” is located. Her meager income is barely sufficient to cover the most basic needs; but there is no money for education, appropriate clothing and medical care.

She applied for our support recently, and given the circumstances and the vulnerability of this family we decided to admit them as a new “EduCare-Family” as from May 2022.

We will support this family with direct and concrete action! As well as satisfying their basic needs such as food-security and education, we also help ensure that human rights are upheld and the way is paved for the girls and the mother concerned to a life in dignity and safety.

We do not have the funds required for the support of this family. The yearly expenses for their support will amount to plus/minus Euro 1.100,-

Please give generously and promptly, no one is more deserving of our help than these vulnerable mothers and their children!

We are ready and eager to increase our capacity for many more of our target groups who are in dire need of our help and this provided that we are successful in raising additional funds.

It’s simple “It’s simply BEF”

Sincerely yours,

Surendra, Raymond & the TEAM

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Apr 28, 2022
Family of the Month - April

By Surendra Pariyar | Project Leader

This family has been admitted in December of 2016. They stem from a remote village in Myagdi.

Beneficiaries age at the time of admittance :
Mother Name withheld for privacy aged 29
Rita (Name Changed), 16 years old (Daughter)
Raj (Name Changed) 1 and half year old (Son)
Rajita (Name Changed) Newly born (Daughter)

Name withheld for privacy’s parents owned a small farm and she received primary education at the local Government school. At the age of 18 her parents arranged a marriage to Lal (Name Changed), 20, a farmer’s son from the neighboring village. The following year, Rita (Name Changed), their first daughter was born followed by another a year later. Life with the in-laws became increasingly difficult for them and they decided to migrate to Pokhara, where Lal (Name Changed) found a job as a construction worker and with his regular income their life was improving.

After the birth of the first son, Lal (Name Changed) decided to migrate to Saudi-Arabia where he worked for several years.

Lal(Name Changed) managed to make regular transfers for the support of his family and he was able to save money to buy land in his village. In Nepal “Land is wealth” and all who are going abroad to earn money are aspiring to buy land and build a house.

When returning to Nepal six years later he was very sick and frail and he was diagnosed with cancer. Over the next two years he received treatment for his cancer and all their savings were spent to pay for the medical costs and the Hospitals. Their land too had to be sold and this in the hope that his life could be saved.

It is not unusual in Nepal that people are losing all their property to pay for Hospitals and medical treatment when sick, and this is leading to a “New Rural-Poverty” in Nepal.

In the year 2015, one year after his second son was born, Lal (Name Changed) passed away leaving his pregnant wife, and four children in a desperate situation.

They had lost everything and the mother had no other choice but begging for food to feed her children.

In the year 2016, Name withheld for privacy came to know about “BEF” and she applied for support, and in December this family was supported by our organization.

Rita (Name Changed), the oldest daughter after finishing her education was referred to our partner “LP4Y” where she received three months vocational and empowerment training. After successful completion of her training she found a job as a teacher. She currently is living with her family and she helps in supporting her mother and her siblings.

Eight year old Raj (Name Changed) and six year old Rajita (Name Changed) are both attending Government school and they are receiving all the care and benefits that “BEF” is providing for the “EduCare-Families”.

The mother too is doing considerably well and the whole family is happy and thriving!

This family, once desperate and on the brink of disaster is now living a decent life in safety and dignity!

“It’s simple, it’s simply BEF “

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